bystander effect

So in college, there have been various times when i know myself, as well as my friends and sisters have all been bystanders. Luckily, nothing serious has happened because of it. there was a time, however, in high school where something more serious occurred. My junior year i was hanging out with a bunch of my friends on my soccer team and we were all drinking having a good time. Eventually, people started separating off and going to different places. I went to my boyfriends house with a couple of my friends and some of the other girls went to another party. Everything was going fine until i went to check my phone upstairs and i had about 10 missed calls, all from various people.  One of whom was my ex-best friend. We had a falling out over a series of things, including her boyfriend at the time and i didn't really want to talk to her. so i didn't call her back

About 25 minutes later, i got a call from her boyfriend and picked it up. He was freaking out and screaming and telling me that something was wrong with erin (my ex-friend). All he kept saying was he thought she was unconscious and didnt' know what to do. So i told one of my teammates that wasn't drinking and she drove us to where they were. When we got there he was holding erin, and i have never seen anything scarier in my entire life, she really and truly looked dead. We took her to a guy friends car and me and another friend jumped in the back with erin. We took off for the hospital at speeds i don't even want to think about. Cops tried to pull us over twice, but realized we weren't stopping for anything and they gave up. We finally got to the hospital and rushed her inside to the emergency room. More and more people kept showing up at the hospital, including erin's mom, whom i had to call. she was hysterical and screaming at me and telling me it was somehow my fault. Luckily, another one of the soccer moms was there to calm her down. While waiting i got the full story.

One of the seniors on the team had gotten erin some Everclear for the evening (it's legal in texas). However, Erin decided to drink almost half the bottle by herself. While she continued to get more and more drunk, none of the people she was with stopped her. I can imagine she was beyond belligerent, and at no point did anybody she was with stopped her. I'm assuming this is mostly because none of them had really drank before, so they didn't know how to handle it. Regardless, it was stupid of them to do absolutely nothing. Just like it was stupid of me to ignore all those phone calls. had i picked up earlier, maybe i could have changed the outcome of the night. Erin ended up having alcohol poisoning and she was released from the hospital the next morning. Unfortunately for her, gossip travels fast at our school, and by the following monday EVERYBODY knew and was talking about her. I felt awful. She was also grounded for 8 months. Her mom made her apologize to anybody involved, although i think many of us should have apologized to her. Me and erin never solved our previous issues, and to this day we still aren't friends/don't talk about what happened that night.

As far as the greek community, i think my experience definitely taught me to always be watching out for people. I certainly like to have a good time when i go out, but my sisters' safety is my number one priority. I will always make sure somebody is walked home, not by themselves, etc. Honestly in serious situations, you really do "sober up quick." Luckily for me, my best friends are my sisters, and i know they ALWAYS have my back, and would do anything to help me out. however, i know thats not the case for anybody, and that is a serious issue that must be addressed within the Greek Community.

Oath

So our blog prompt this past week seemed simple enough. After all, it was only one word. however, this one word holds a lot of meaning, especially to somebody who has taken an oath. As discussed in class, there are not that many times in your life when you take an oath. Confirmation, pledging a fraternity or sorority, and marriage are some that i can think of. These are very serious promises you make to uphold a set of values

For a fraternity or sorority, these pledges are often made without full knowledge of what they're doing. Initiation is often a hectic and confusing process, and new members aren't sure exactly what they're promising. Looking back, i know i promised to be a good citizen and sister and to help others follow this same path. However, i wish it was more clear as to what we were promising. I know we can't divulge the secrets of our initiation before the process, but i wish we could find some way to better prepare our new members so they understand the full extent of what they were promising. Perhaps this would help once they girls became active.

Citizenship

Well this is certainly not the easiest blog to do. The others have been pretty simple, and the answers just came to me. This one, however, i had to actually think about. i know, how horrible. 


How are you (individually) displaying citizenship within the fraternity/sorority community? 
- When i think about displaying citizenship within the greek community, i try and think about what i've done to help the greek community as an individual. Things like attending other fraternities and sororities events and greek-wide events all help promote greek unity. I try my best to never talk badly about greek life to those who aren't in it. This will hopefully keep the greek community in a good light.


How does your chapter display citizenship within the fraternity/sorority community? What does this look like?
-this is a bit harder to think about. As a whole, we try and get all our girls to attend things such as speakers, philanthropy events, etc. but it is really hard to get a chapter of 95 girls focused on one thing at a time. This is definitely something we are looking to improve in our chapter right now.


How does the fraternity/sorority community display citizenship within the greater university community.  
-We as a greek community constantly talk about bettering our image and improving relations within the university community. but there is no way that we are effective at this. Ask any "non-greek" and they will sit there for hours and talk about the crazy parties they went to as freshman, seeing people walking in weird costumes during greek week, and being obnoxious at the O. As fun as all this stuff is, they don't have the benefit of seeing all the other stuff we do. The philanthropies, the service days, the sisterhoods/brotherhoods. If i weren't greek, and all i saw were the things that focused around drinking, i would think we "paid for our friends" too. This is a serious problem that we must aim to fix if we ever hope to become a more rounded greek community and university. 

feedback from class

So in class, despite the disgusting weather, we separated into groups and went out in search of Greeks whom we could survey. While we did one survey on the street with a random SigEp we saw, most of what we did was based on phone calls and house visits. The biggest thing i noticed was everybody's initial reaction. Most people i talked to were surprised about our questions. As a PHA women, this made me laugh, because during formal recruitment the answers to these questions are drilled into our heads on the off chance a PNM asks us about something other than our live-in requirement. It seems however, that once january is over, the "correct" answers go straight out the window. I found that the best answers i got were the ones who previously held positions and often the upperclassmen. The younger ones had more issues with the questions.

When people did manage to get a response out that wasn't "uhhh" almost everybody answered with the same repetitive answers. "We value sisterhood/brotherhood, leadership, we like to have socials and are involved and our ritual is what separates us from other chapters." Ironic isn't it that no matter what council and what chapter you were, you said almost the exact same thing. I'm thinking that's what kristen's point was.....

a family thing

So when we got the assignment to pick an organization, the first thing to pop into my head was Exxon Mobil. This is simply because both of my parents work for Exxon and have for quite some time. So of course i was brought up learning all about everything they do and why they do it. It's very common for the general public to dislike big oil companies, especially in today's day and age. However, i know that is a mistake. Exxon is constantly looking for useful alternative energy resources. They travel the world to find other resources they can use besides oil. Because of this, i think they do a very good job of showing their organizational values. They are also a notoriously conservative company, from the attire they expect their employees to wear, to general business conduct, Exxon certainly values hard work and good ethics. A good example of this is their reaction to the BP oil spill. Instead of distancing themselves from BP and trying to take advantage of a competitors downfall, they reached out. They approached BP and offered help and advice to how they could come back from such a devastating event. Exxon shows its values in many ways including its actions with BP and its many commercials to keep the public informed about their most recent activities.

A picture of my mom and other Exxon Mobil employees donating to United Way, one of the charities Exxon has close ties to.

Values

When i think of this topic, i think of the countless weekends i've spent at conferences both for OSU and for Delta Zeta. No matter what the main purpose of the conference is, it always goes back to our values. We discuss what our chapters were founded on and strive to live by these everyday. While Delta Zeta's values are good and all, i have my own set of values that are important to me.
1. friendship
-My friends really mean the world to me. They've always been there for me, regardless of what was going on in my life or how far away we are. No matter how successful you may be in life, you're nothing without your friends.
2. honesty
- I never expect people to be perfect, but i do expect people to be honest. One of the hardest things in life is when to admit that you messed up and when you're wrong. I really value people who are capable of doing that.
3. Giving
- so as i'm sitting here writing this blog, i was asking my sisters for some advice about what my values are. I know, it seems weird that i should ask them about MY values, but they do know me better then myself sometimes. They suggested giving. I try to always give what i can to my sisters. Whether that be a ride to class, clothes for a date, or the perfect headband to wear out at night :) personally, i believe strongly that what's mine is theirs. After I graduate i hope to continue this in my place of work and my family.


I have plenty more such as trust, courage, and intelligence. But i feel as these are pretty self-explanatory and i'm willing to bet many people will have these as well.

Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy.

Everybody hates it. I've found that in the Greek community, including in my own chapter, there are hypocritical people by the dozens. Everybody talks about living by our values and joining greek life for good reasons. Unfortunately some of these very same people, are the ones going against these "values" every time they go out. The ones who, during the day, preach about sisterhood or brotherhood, are sometimes the very same people who go out, get wasted, and do stupid things. 

Look I understand, it's college, and everybody likes to unwind and relax on the weekends. But, if this is what you like to do, then own up to it. Don't walk around like you are god's gift to Greek Life, just to act like a complete idiot on the weekend. Personally, i will be the first to admit that i've done stupid stuff i've regret and I know there are times that I don't live up to the values our founders founded Delta Zeta on. But at least i'm honest about it. And i know that's something our founders would appreciate--honesty.